A former Lutheran pastor sharing thoughts on faith and life. Please join the conversation! I love your comments!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Ten Reasons I Love Christmas (Warning: Contains Heavy Sarcasm)

Here are my Ten Reasons I Love Christmas:

1. This "season of giving" is accompanied by some terrific motivations for giving to charity such as "Crap!  I forgot to get a gift!  I'll just donate online and print off an 'in your honor' card." or "Oooh, I get a pretty ornament if I donate here!" or "Wow that bell ringer looks cold!  I feel so sorry for her I gotta put something in her bucket!" and best of all: "Otherwise how will anyone know I remember the reason for the season?"

2.  Such motivations for giving go hand in hand with great charity dodges such as: "I posted the reason for the season on facebook.  Giving would be superfluous."or "Everybody gives at Christmas time.  I am sure I will remember to do my giving in August." and "A gift to charity in someone's name seems so impersonal, unlike something made in China.  And look!  It's on sale!"

3.   There are so many recycling opportunities associated with Christmas ie. wrapping paper, boxes, gift catalogues, tiny gift calendars from various businesses.... My recycling bin will look so festive!

4.  Even small talk is transformed in this festive season.  The ever popular "who is busiest" competitions become "who is most stressed out by the holidays."

5.  Christmas gifts, parties, and treats provide at least a month's worth of excuses for gluttony!

6.  All those Christmas television programs provide viewing fun like no other, such as opportunities to experience one of the world's most annoying noises: the sound of Rudolph's nose glowing.

7. Trying to get a tree with a crooked trunk to stand up straight enriches our minds with lessons in physics, geometry, and engineering.

8.  The media give interesting math lessons this time of year when the Christian majority somehow becomes the persecuted minority thanks to the "War on Christmas."

9.  Children get to fight over new toys instead of all those boring arguments over the same old toys.

10.  Christmas shopping provides excellent demonstrations of the peacefulness, sharing, and overall well being which result from unrestrained "free market" capitalism particularly during Black Friday and After Christmas sales.

Now before you all label me a scrooge or send me a lump of coal, I just felt a bit snarky today.  There are reasons I actually do love Christmas.  For one, it is cold and dark this time of year.  We all could use a little celebrating and festivity.  But most of all I love this time of year when hope seems something we can wrap our arms around and hold dear to our hearts.  For more of these types of reasons read A Prayer for the Christmas Season  which I wrote a few years ago.
In the mean time a little snarkiness is good for the soul.
I am sure that is in scripture somewhere.

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