Am I Killing The Church?

Am I killing the church?  I suppose this is a bit of a melodramatic way of posing the question.  But, this is truly something I have pondered.  For years, I have wrestled with why I should go to church.  What is the purpose?  I have heard over and over that it is not about me. I read people saying it is selfish thinking I should get something out of going to church.  That I must just be looking for entertainment.  So, okay, if it is not about me then who is it about?  I find it difficult to conceive of a loving God who demands I sit in a pew for an hour each week just because God said so.  Or a God who somehow needs my sacrifice of praise.  It must, then, be for the benefit of my fellow parishioners and perhaps the church as a whole.  I go to support other people of faith and to further the mission of the church. 

Then one day it occurred to me: What if my attendance at church is doing more harm than good?  What if my continued attendance at church only enables complacency?  Could I be giving people false reassurance: as long as there are warm bodies in the pews things must not be all bad?  Am I enabling the church to just keep going through the motions?  What if my presence on Sundays actually helps to prevent the church from hearing God’s call?  

Cause, wow, it seems like the church has gone deaf.  Maybe it is just me but it seems there is huge need in the world.  There is need which just screams following Jesus.  There is need, such need, for justice.  This life can be so horrifying.

Don’t get me wrong, I get life can be beautiful.  I look at our youth and I see hope.  I look at the beauty of God’s creation and, rather than taking my breath away, it seems like it fills me with breath and life. I look at my children and there are no words for such love and joy. This is not me being pessimistic or ungrateful.  

But the thing is, however much joy we have in life, however much beauty, however much love, it can all be snatched away in a moment.  It would be nice to believe, as some of my Christian brothers and sisters do, that God will protect you if you are faithful enough and if you suffer it is because of sin or somehow to the glory of God.  This is not the world in which I live.  Surely many, many of us know there is nothing we can do to prevent tragedy from striking no matter how “good” we are.  Surely many of us know no purpose erases the pain.  And what about those who live with little beauty, little love, and little hope?  What about those who live in grinding, desperate poverty?  

This is not only an issue of compassion either.  If we believe there is such a thing as a victim of injustice in this world than there is a chance injustice could strike close to home.  I just got done watching Les Miserables.  Surely few of us are naive enough to think there are no Fantines in the world, those whose lives are full of sorrow and hardship far out of proportion to any “sins” they may have committed.  Likewise there are Jean Valjeans, people who are unjustly punished for their crimes.  There are people who live in poverty and desperation primarily because of where they were born.  There are innocent children who suffer.  As long as there are such as these than we are all vulnerable, one mistake, one misfortune away from sorrow.  

This is the world we live in and so we need the church to follow Jesus where he leads us to work for justice, peace, and mercy.  We need the church to be about more than singing praise, spitting out platitudes of false comfort and giving token benevolence tucked in around the building fund.  Because the only way we can transform the horrifying fact of injustice and suffering in this world is by working to do something about it.   There is so much which is out of our control.  Life is sometimes horrifying but if there can be purpose in what we do, if we are working for justice, if we are following Jesus, then the suffering will be lessened and the fear will shrink and ... well maybe there is some point to it all anyway.   

I need the church to be a place where I can work out my role in the struggle against injustice.  I need the church to be a place where people care and do things about it.  They were right when they said my criticism of the church was selfish.  The only way I can find peace and hope is by following Jesus in the struggle to fill the world with justice and mercy.  Yet the problems are so big and so overwhelming.  I don’t know where to begin.  I need the church’s help.  

But maybe by going to church I am actually killing any hope of ever finding help there.  Maybe I am just encouraging complacency.  Maybe the best thing I can do is walk away and look for help elsewhere.

What do you think?  Do you have similar needs/wants from your community of faith?  How do we help the church to wake up?   

Adventure Racing vs. Church Attendance

Last weekend, I was part of a team at an Adventure Race.  An Adventure Race involves biking, trekking (running/walking on trails and rough terrain), and canoeing.  We followed maps to checkpoints and traveled many miles for nine hours.  It was ...crazy.  Fun, horrible, exhausting, exhilarating, and frustrating.  I missed out on church the next day because I couldn’t quite get myself out of bed.  Some would say this was a bad thing, that I should go to church no matter what, that it is my duty, that I missed out on something terribly important.  Others might say, being in nature, enjoying the fellowship of friends, appreciating the gift of a healthy body are all ways of praising God and therefore the race was, in a sense, church.  In the spirit of healthy competition, let’s look more closely at these arguments and tally up the results.  The race is on.  Which will be the winner?

Adventure Racing

More prayer happens on an adventure race (please let me make it up this hill, please don’t let me have a heart attack, thank you we didn’t just capsize when we hit that stump with our canoe, please let this be the right trail, THANK YOU FOR THE FINISH LINE!)  1 pt.

Church

Has a working bathroom just steps away.  With toilet paper.  And a sink.  And a toilet seat on which one doesn’t mind sitting.  This might be worth more than one point. 1 1/2 pts.

Adventure Racing

An opportunity to learn the value of a focal point or a mantra to achieve a meditative trance like state.  The top of the hill is an excellent focal point and “oh crap, oh crap, oh crap” or “never again, never again, never again” make excellent mantras.  1 pt.

Church

Though the service might seem long, you don't actually have to pack in your own food and water.  Unless you have small children.  Hmm.  Maybe only half a point.  

Adventure Racing

Experience the power of nature as the wind consistently manages to push you in the opposite direction to wherever you are attempting to paddle the canoe.  1 pt.

Church 

Praise God for the beauty of God’s creation. 1 pt.

Adventure Racing

Experience the beauty of God’s creation. 1 pt.

Church

No poison ivy or ticks. 1 pt.

Adventure Racing

No struggle to stay awake.  The adrenaline produced while biking over pointy rocks really wakes a person up. 1 pt.

Church 

Fellowship around coffee may barely edge out fellowship over electrolyte chews and water.  Though the water tastes heavenly the fellowship is disrupted by all the wheezing and gasping. 1 pt. 

Adventure Race

Enjoy the very satisfying feeling of having completed the race without bonking (a.k.a. hitting the wall).  I think I bonked in regards to much of church life a long time ago.  1 pt.

Church

Pews are marginally more comfortable than a bike seat. 1 pt. 

Totals: Adventure Racing= 6 points 

Church= 6 points

Well, there you have it.  It’s a tie!  

Obviously I am just having some fun here.  But, I do think folks in the Christian church might do well to be a little less uptight about church attendance as the best way to experience God.  Perhaps when people tell us they can experience God better in nature than at church we could rejoice with them that they are experiencing God somewhere.  

The Bible As Answer Book or Young People As Teachers?

Does anyone else ever think reading the comments following blogs or articles about religion is horribly detrimental to spiritual and mental health? (Not the comments on this blog, of course.  That’s different.)  Often as I am reading comments I ask myself, “Why are you reading this?  You know it will only make you angry or depressed?”  So, I tear myself away from the computer but alas the damage is done.

Yet, it is important to hear opinions which differ from my own, even if they make me angry and tug me back toward cynicism.  It is important to hear such opinions because they help me to step back and review my own beliefs with an eye toward seeing inconsistencies and areas where I might be wrong.  Sometimes opposing opinions help me to see the underlying differences, the foundation from which our differences arise beyond surface politics.

Such was the case this week.  I read two thought provoking articles about young people and why they do or don’t go to church and how their faith and world differs from that of other generations.  I often assume the underlying difference between my own opinions and those of more conservative brothers and sisters is our view of scripture.  The comments following these articles helped me to realize this may not be the case. The source of the conflict may be more basic: a completely different understanding of the world.  It boils down to this: do we believe we have all the answers?  Do we believe God as revealed in the bible, answers all questions, explains suffering and death, explains why things happen the way they happen, what we should do, why we are here?  Do we believe God has given all these answers in a way which is easy enough to discern so any good spiritual leader can provide any answer you need? 

Mallory McDuff’s article Why I Made My Teenager Go to Church talked about a highly articulate young woman who admitted to questioning the Creeds.  This young woman said her church was a place which encouraged such questions and gave her a way to have faith even when she doesn’t know what she believes.  To me, this was a beautiful statement of faith and meaning from a thoughtful young woman.  Some of the comments which followed lamented no one was there to give this young woman the answers.  This reveals such a different worldview than my own and helps me to see why I am uncomfortable even with some people who do allow questioning.  If we assume we have the answers than questioning might be okay in a patronizing sort of way but ultimately one must surrender to the answers sanctioned by a given church.  I see the world and God as much more mysterious, perplexing and troubling.  The idea of the bible as a big answer book falls apart within a few verses, Genesis 1:26, “Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind.’”  If humankind hasn’t been created yet, who is “us”?  Sure this can be explained but if it has to be explained this already throws out the window any idea of the plain truth of scripture which anyone can read and understand.  Which introduces human interpretation and any knowledge of history reveals the fallibility of human interpretation. 

  

Then there are the violent passages of scripture which advocate genocide.  Reconciling those scriptures with a loving God requires some major interpreting and explaining.

Then we only have to lift up our eyes and see the suffering and injustice in the world to be swamped with more questions and explaining.  

So, I just don’t get how anyone can possibly think any version of the church has all the answers.  This worldview is so foreign to me it suddenly makes more sense why conversations with such folks are so very difficult.  

And it also makes more sense to me why some seem troubled by articles such as Heidi Haverkamp’s, Why Congregations Shouldn't Work So Hard To Keep Their Young People.  This article tells about a teenager who is an active participant in his synagogue, thoughtful and engaging, open to seeing the beauty in other spiritual traditions, concerned about justice issues, and yet doubts he will participate in any religious institution in adulthood.  If we are concerned about people getting the right answers to all their questions, then this young man is headed away from the source of those answers.   But if life is a journey, exploring questions while growing in love for our neighbors and the world, then this young man’s life is the unfolding of a beautiful story of God at work in the world.  

Our young people are amazing.  They question and they doubt and their faith may not look like many of us think it should.  Yet it is a beautiful faith which continues to astound me with its openness and justice seeking love.  Our young people have much to teach us.  Maybe we should stop trying to give them the answers and learn from them instead.  

But then, that’s just me, operating from my worldview in which there are no easy answers and always much to learn.